We, The Nation

“We need to hold our leaders more accountable.  I can’t believe some of the things they are getting away with these days.  As a Nation, we should be ashamed of how they lie to us, and how poor of a job they are doing.”

“I couldn’t agree more”, I said.  ”But I don’t think the current group in Washington is a whole lot different from the last group.”

“Washington?  I am talking about our football team”, he said.  ”I mean, if we can’t have a coach that can win AND run a clean program, then we need to find someone else.”

“I didn’t realize you played football”, I said.  ”You are 35 years old with kids and stuff.  How do you find the time?  I barely have time with work and raising my kids to watch a game here and there.  It’s cool that you are on the team.”

“Man, you are talking crazy.  I don’t play football, at least not now.  But man back in the day I was a heck of a player.  Anyway, I can’t believe that we play a cover-two defense when they are in the spread formation.  I keep telling Coach that we need to play a soft nickel with a safety over the top to protect against the deep ball.”

“You sure know a lot about football.  I can tell you played, and it’s cool that you are coaching Division I”, I said.  ”I could have sworn you were a software developer, but I guess you were working your way into it.  Most people don’t get the chance to make that career change.  That’s freaking sweet!”

“What?”

“Well, you said you keep telling Coach about stuff.  That’s cool he listens to you.  Most head coaches are pretty set in their ways”, I said.

“What rock did you crawl out from under?  Do you not listen to Coach’s weekly radio show?  I call in there every week and give him advice on how to do things. He even knows me by name now.  It’s pretty cool that we are friends, even though I think he is a lousy coach.  I just wish he would listen to me more.  We need our defense to man up!”

“But, isn’t he paid to coach football?”

“Yeah, but he sucks.  Anyone knows that when you are playing against a 3-4 defense that you have to down-block the linebackers if you are going to run the ball.  He keeps stunting the guards and that will never work.  The Nation is going to get him fired if he is not careful.”

“I know you love the game and it’s cool that you went to school there for a year before you flunked out,” I said, “but I don’t think people in California care about what happens here.  I don’t think the nation really cares.  I mean, 10% of people don’t have jobs.  I think the nation probably has a few more things to worry about.”

“The Nation pays his salary”, he said.  ”We decide whether he stays or goes.  All we have to do is make enough noise and the President will take care of it for us.”

“President Obama is pretty busy.  He is trying to catch Osama Bin Laden and make sure Americans have health care and things like that.  Can you believe the fight in Washington over the tax cuts?”

“We caught Osama bin Laden about 7 years ago. He is in a prison in Cuba or Mexico or one of those Spanish-speaking countries.  Doesn’t matter which one. Don’t you remember all that noise about us torturing that bastard before we hanged him?  Good riddance to that dude.  Anyway, we need to play better tonight.  Our outside shooting has really been bad.  We can’t buy a basket these days.  And Smith has to step his game up.  I mean, we made him the #1 pick in the draft last year.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.  But we are a bunch of middle-aged dads playing rec league basketball.  We are going to have off nights.  And we didn’t really draft Smith, we just asked him to play with us”, I said.

“I am talking about Smith on my other team, dumb-ass.  Man, this conversation is getting old.  You have to keep up”, he said.

“I didn’t realize you played on another team.  No wonder you are so much better than all of us.  I don’t have that kind of time.  Your wife is super-cool for giving you that much time away from the house.”

“I don’t play on another team.  The other night I was telling Smith that he has to set his man up better if he is going to get open looks at our level. He needs to run his man off the screen better because defenders at our level are a lot different than they were in high school.  We were hanging out together, chatting about the upcoming conference games.  We have some really tough games right after Christmas and we need to be ready.”

“Smith is a great player.  I guess it’s good that your dad gives all that money to the school so you can hang out with the players.  I am jealous”, I said.

“Well, I wasn’t really ‘there’ with him.  I mean, I was chatting with him on his UStream broadcast.  He had some fine shawties up in his place, I can tell you that.  I think Ashley is the hottest one, personally.  But Tiffany is no slouch.  Anyway, I have to go.  We have a game tonight and I have to get ready.  I just hope Coach has some sets for Smith that get him going.  Otherwise the Nation will have something to say about that, too.”